Monthly Archives: June 2015

The Lighter Side:

Humor comes in many forms. I like humor that is not dirty, racist or demeaning amongst other things. Old fashion humor you might say.

This months humor tends to be punny. Not all are puns, but tend to lean that way. Could be short one liners too. I will let you decide what category they should be placed in.

So here we go….. away with the show……..

1. I think Santa has river front property in Brazil. All our presents came from Amazon this year

2. My girlfriend is mute, she communicates by embroidery, it’s her version of sign language, sew to speak.

3. If there’s a storm going on outside, our cat scratches everything in its path, when it rains it paws.

4. Facebook is a lot like ancient Egypt, people writing on walls and worshiping cats.

5. I saw an inflatable ATM machine today, the screen said “Please do not enter PIN”

6. “Jesus Loves You”, can be a nice enough gesture in church, but not what you want to hear in a Mexican prison

7. If the chemical composition of water is ‘H2O’, does that mean that Holy Water should be ‘H2OMG’ ? …and Ice is H20cubed

8. That girl from The Exorcist was a real head turner

9. Did you know that health insurance and homeowner’s insurance are the same thing to a turtle.

10. I used to own a party balloon company but I couldn’t keep up with the high cost of inflation.

11. I was born to be a pessimist.  My blood type is B Negative.

12. I Googled- “Missing medieval servant”, it came up with “Page not found”.

 

spacer