The Lighter Side Answers

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The answers for this months jokes, come from the pit or the crypt can’t remember where. Doctor Frankenstein must have taken part of my brain, without telling me.

What is scary is how many of the jokes you didn’t know. Maybe you will have better luck bobbing for apples on Halloween. Too funny, hope you enjoyed the lighter side this month.

01. What’s a vampire’s favorite fast food?

         Answer: A guy with very high blood pressure.

02. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Halloween ball?

         Answer: Because he had no body to go with!

03. What is witch’s best subject in school?

         Answer: Spelling.

04. Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?

         Answer: He didn’t have a haunting license.

05. What food is a vampire afraid of?

         Answer: A Steak

06. What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

         Answer: Scarespray!

07. What do you call two spiders that just got married?

         Answer: Newlywebbs

08. What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

         Answer: Boo-Jeans.

09. What is a vampires favorite fruit?

         Answer: A nectarine!

10. Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?

         Answer: Because he didn’t have the guts to do it.

11. What is a Mummie’s favorite type of music?

         Answer:. Wrap!!!!!

12. Why did the ghost go into the bar?

         Answer: For the Boos.

13. Where do most werewolves live?

         Answer. In howllywood, California.

 

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I would ask how you did answering these jokes, but I know the answer already…… Not well !!!   But I can see the smiles and hear the laughs and giggles…….. Glad that I could bring a smile to your face today.  Now make someone else laugh or groan.

1. What lies on its back, a hundred feet in the air?

       Answer: A dead centipede.

2. Have you ever tried to eat a clock?

       Answer: It’s very time consuming.

3. What is a tree’s favorite drink?

       Answer: Root beer!

4. What did the spider do on the computer?

       Answer: Made a website!

5. Why did the computer keep sneezing?

       Answer: It had a virus!

6. Why was the computer cold? 

       Answer: It left it’s Windows open!

7. Have you seen the movie called The Tractor ?

Answer: I haven’t either but the trailer looks really good!!!

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How well do you think you did on this months Lighter Side? I imagine just like you normally do, not well. But now you got some new material for the month. Laughing big time now. Here are the answers you have been waiting for.

1. What did the bartender say to Charles Dickens?

       Answer: Olive or twist?

2. What’s a frog’s favorite soda?

       Answer: Croak-a-Cola.

3. Why was the computer so tired when it got home?

       Answer: Because it had a hard drive.

4. Why couldn’t the pirate remember the alphabet?

       Answer: He always got lost at “C”.

5. How do you make an egg laugh?

       Answer: Tell it a yolk.

6. Why shouldn’t you shower with a Pokemon around?

       Answer: They might Pikachu.

7. What did the llama say when he got kicked off the farm?

       Answer: Alpaca my bags.

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How well did you think you did? Did you laugh trying to figure out the answers to these simple jokes….. Won’t make you wait any longer for the answers, so here they are.

1: What did Cinderella say when her photos didn’t show up?

        Answer: Someday my prints will come!

2. Why was the broom late?

       Answer: It over swept!

3: What did the banana say to the doctor?

       Answer: “I’m not peeling well.”

4. How do fish get high?

       Answer: Seaweed.

5. What did a green grape say to a purple grape?

       Answer: Breathe stupid, breathe!

6. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

       Answer: It’s okay now. He woke up.

7. What does a lawyer wear to work?

        Answer: A law suit.

8. What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?

        Answer: “Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant,”

 ( Helps if you know the melody to the song )

I won’t ask you how you did, I know that most of you missed all or most of them. Do hope you had a chuckle and past these along to your friends and family. Then you can see for yourself just how much fun it is to see someone laugh.

 

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Hope you had fun and got a few laughs trying to figure out the answers….. Those of you with cats or children might have had an advantage.

1. What is a cat’s favorite song?

        Answer: Three Blind Mice.

2. Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?

        Answer: He set a new lap record.

3. Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?

        Answer: She had mittens

4. What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat?

        Answer: A peeping tom.

5. Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle?

        Answer: Too many cheetahs.

6. How does the cat get its own way?

        Answer: With friendly purrsuasion.

7. What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo?

        Answer: An eskimew

Alright, all of you who had a purrfect score raise your hands. Did you get them all wrong….it might be due to too much catnip………big grin and laugh now.

 

 

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Just like a hard boiled egg you are dying for the answers to this months Easter jokes. I know some of you will be groaning when you read the answers to the jokes. If you didn’t get many of them you weren’t thinking like a rabbit or an egg. I am snickering big time now.

1. Where does the Easter Bunny get his eggs?

        Answer: From Eggplants.

2. What do you call a rabbit with fleas? 

        Answer: Bugs Bunny!

3. What happened to the Easter Bunny when he
     misbehaved at school?
        Answer: He was eggspelled!

4. How should you send a letter to the Easter Bunny?

        Answer: By hare mail!

5. What day does an Easter egg hate the most?
        Answer: Fry-days.

6. Why was the little girl sad after the race?
        Answer: Because an egg beater!

7. What happened to the egg when he was tickled
     too much?
        Answer: He cracked up.

8. How do bunnies stay healthy?
        Answer: They Eggercise

9. What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards
        Answer: A receding hareline.

10. Why was the Easter Bunny so upset?
        Answer: He was having a bad hare day!

11. What happened when the Easter Bunny caught his
       head in the ceiling fan?
        Answer: It took ears off his life!

12. What does the Easter Bunny get for making a basket?

        Answer: Two points, just like anyone else

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You probably skipped the article to get to the answers, right? After you finish groaning or laughing go back and read the article. G.I. Jodi’s is a cool place.

1. What do you call a man in the lion’s cage?
      Answer: Claude

2. What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
      Answer: Roamin’ Catholic

3. What kind of tree grows in your hand?
      Answer: A palm tree

4. Why did the man put a sweater on his hot dog?
      Answer: Because it was a chili dog

5. What happened to the boy who drank 8 cokes?
      Answer: He burped 7up

6. What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
      Answer: Nothing, they just waved

7. What do you call an illegally parked frog?
      Answer: Toad

Well how many answers to this months jokes did you get right? All of them……then you’re going to live a long life, because you don’t take life to cereal.

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Here are the answers for this months lighter side!

1. How do you know when Santa’s in the room?

        Answer: You can sense his presents.

2. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
        Answer: Tinsilitis!

3. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
        Answer: Crisp Kringle.

4. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
        Answer: A cookie sheet!

5. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
        Answer: They are always dropping their needles.

6. What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet
     and the ordinary alphabet?
        Answer: The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!

Well did you do get all the answers to the jokes right. Didn’t think so. Now spread the Christmas Cheer and share them with your friends and family.

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 1. Did you hear about the Italian chief who died?
       Answer: Yeah, he pasta way.

2. What kind of nails to carpenters hate to hit? 

       Answer: Their fingernails.

3. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
       Answer: A Gummy Bear.

4. Why was the Rockies baseball game so hot?

       Answer: Cause all the fans left.

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